Church of the Incarnation

I was leading a Diocesan meeting when I got the news. A hundred youth were gathered at my church and I was leading them in team-building activities in preparation for that summer's mission trip. I was giving instructions for the next game when the secretary interrupted to tell me my sister was on the phone. Well, I talk to my sister several times a day and never about anything important so I asked her to take a message. Frankly, I was more than a little put out that she had not just taken a message to begin with. But the secretary said, "She says she really needs to tell you something."

My annoyance turned to panic. My sister was extremely pregnant, and she had already had one miscarriage. I think I asked someone to step in and lead the game, and I ran through the parish hall to my office.

Early that morning, my sister had gone into labor. She met her doctor at his office when he arrived at 8, thinking he might give her some idea of when to go to the hospital. But it turned out that in the last few days the baby had flipped, so she was breech. She would have to be delivered by C-section, and right away. My sister had called to say that my niece had already been born! Well, I went back to finish up my meeting but after a couple seconds I told them we would have to stop early. And I jumped in my car and headed to Asheville.

Thames would have to be in the Neonatal ICU for a few days. She was fine - but there was some medicine that they normally administer as the baby's coming through the birth canal, and since she was an emergency C-section they would have to give her the medicine through an IV for a couple days. The hospital was very strict about visits in the NICU - only parents and grandparents of the babies were allowed in. But my sister and I told the nurse we were twins, which we are not, and she let me come in. I scrubbed to my elbows and donned a gown and mask and made my way through the incubators.

Now I know that most women love babies, but frankly, I had never been a big fan. I never babysat as a child - I had actually never held a baby before. I expected to think my niece was cute - I knew people tended to be blind about babies who were related to them. And I knew I would be excited for my sister. But I looked into the incubator at that tiny, pink little girl with the IV stuck in her precious little foot and something deep inside me responded to her. I felt a biological, innate connection to her and I knew my life would never be the same.

I was no longer the center of my world.

From that moment on, everything has been different. My idea of a great vacation became keeping Thames (and now Miller, too) for a week. My idea of a great meal out became Chucky Cheese. I thought it was adorable when Thames chose me to change her diaper, and I would proudly display the handprint turkey drawings she sent me. From the moment I saw Thames, I knew I would do anything to keep her safe and healthy and happy. I was no longer the center of my world.

Jesus said, "If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."1

Denying ourselves is about giving up our position as the center of things and acting selflessly. It is about shifting our focus away from ourselves and our problems and onto others and how we can love them. I have seen this happen in so many ways in this congregation. I have seen one young widow reach out to a woman whose husband was dying and walk that horrible road all over again to be beside her friend. I have watched food magically appear when no one is scheduled to provide hospitality after church. And I have watched people take time away from their own families to call and visit our sick or homebound parishioners. Many of you already know what I learned in that NICU eleven years ago: that living only for yourself is not really living. It is exhausting and depressing focusing on me and my problems all the time. Putting others at the center is actually liberating and life-giving and healing.

I have heard many sermons on this passage that talked about denying yourself daily and taking up your cross daily. Well, that is not what Mark says here. See, Greek has one verb form that means to do an action one time and another that means to keep on doing that action over a long period of time. And Mark has Jesus tell the people to deny themselves one time and take up their cross one time. From the moment I saw Thames, I have been different. Sure, I have my selfish moments - plenty of them. And I have been known to have myself quite a little pity party. But since seeing Thames, I know even in my most self-focused moments that I am not the center of my world. Denying ourselves is not a daily struggle.

The ongoing action is following Jesus, learning from him, being his disciple. Remember that in Jesus' day a disciple was someone who left everything and made it his life's work to listen to Jesus and to watch how he lived his life in order to become more like Jesus. I used to think that following Jesus today meant commiting to a monk-like life of prayer and study. I thought the only way to follow Jesus authentically was to avoid people and our distortions of Jesus' message and to listen to God directly. But of course, in my prayer time I hear God through the filter of my experiences and desires. And even if those who put the Bible on paper were able to do so free of their own biases, I read it with all of my baggage in my lap. So I do not believe we can follow Jesus without finding him mixed in with a muddle of non-Jesus, fallen humanity muck.

But I also think that if we are really looking Jesus shines brightly out of the human muck. Last night I had a fabulous meal with my supper club, and there was plenty of muck. But in the midst of the stories about the gruesome details of animal husbandry there shone a servant's spirit and in the tales of the special needs bird there shone a tender compassion for the outcast, the least of these.

Jesus is all around us here. This church truly is the Incarnation of Christ - Jesus in human form, loving the broken world. And on the tables in the parish hall today you will find a hundred ways you can follow him both by learning from those who join with you in ministry and by experiencing him in the work you will do. Jesus said, "If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."2

Amen.

References:

1. Mark 8:34.
2. Mark 8:34.